KING OF THE HILL

as the jumbos are running riot everywere one gets between bronze's feet and trips her over, resulting in a trip to A&E Keelan is

while all this is going on no one notice the little old lady called joy sneeking up the the other side of the hill and as she got up to the very top she
used her walking stick in a very threatning manner and keelan was afraid
as she looked like a old evil witch of the south east from a very bad place called high wycombe .ha ha ha so she became the

just like any bad witch drop a house on them and take thier red shoes away they have no power which phill doz with his little dog called toe toe and with a klick of his heels (god this sounds really bad) becomes of the hill

Suz has been biding her time waiting quietly for the right moment to make her move - Everyone seemed to forget that she had hidden guard quail perfectly camouflaged around the hill, who unbeknown to previous monarchs have been busy reproducing with the now feral flock of jumbos, producing and strain of evil genius quail. On Suz command the quail swoop in and carry Phill off to Malta, leaving Suz plenty of time to amble up the hill surrounded by her evil feathery army - Suz is

the old witch of the south east has not given up she has many spells to cast and she intends to use one on suz.
she jumps onto her trusted broom and circle the mountain at 400mph and suz and her army of quails are so spell bound that
thay all collapes to the ground and are rendered useless.
so once again the witch from the south east is king again on top of the mountain WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE HER HA HA HA just waiting for the next person to try and bring her down

Andoy hears about all those succulent quails and sees what the Joy witch has done. So he organises a troup of Spartan warriors to scare the witch away and have a barbie on the hill... yumm!



The Spartan army rules and Andoy is

Suz charges up the hill determined to unseat Andoy - but on seeing Andoy in his new improved diaper, fall to the ground peeing herself laughing , rolls down the hill still in knots, eventually she pulls herself together goes home for a shower and a change of clothes, and waits - hoping that Andoy gets cold and covers himself up

Not only is Andoy cold, but the lack of;
showering facilities, wireless hot spots, room service and most importantly no beer
on the hill causes dissent in the Spartan army. Andoy fully sated by jumbo
mutant quails takes his army to the latest “hot” bar then goes back home to check on his little quail chicks.

Suz seeing that the hill has been vacated takes up residence on the hill again, fully equipped with hot-water bottle, duvet, super dooper pick up broadband anywhere laptop, camera, her silkies (fearing another kidnap attempt) and an Asda chicken & bacon sandwich & a bottle of full fat coke.

Suz is

while Suz is busy on her super dooper laptop Ke elan sneaks behind her after a long struggle up the hill and makes her jump, spilling all her full fat coke (and may i add very very sticky coke) making the laptop useless, Suz in tears runs home to her OH to borrow his not so super dooper laptop, leaving Keelan King

kenza is no match for the very old witch from the south east she has been away to perfect her spells and has return to put some more into action.
she flow her broom stick up the rear side of the mountain and poor kenza did not see her coming the witch pulled kenza onto her broom and fly off to a far off country and dump her there .
quick as a flash she return to regain her golden throne right at the top of the mountain with all her lovely young warriors waiting on her every needs what a happy witch she was ruleing over the mountain side and not a enemy in sight ha ha ha

good morning everyone have you given up and turned the mountain over to me cant help noticing how vacate it is way up here all on my own with JUST my three warriors to wait on me hand and foot
feeding me with grapes and rum & black i do hope i dont get get bored with this life. never mind i surpose you have all come to terms with not getting one over the old witch of the south east i can be very evil at times and needs to be repected as you would not like to see me when i get BAD and naughty lololol ask my boys lololo

while the evil joy was enjoying herself phill finds 2 trees at the bottom of the hill ties a rope between them strips naked and slides on a pully between them flying into the bushes joy and her 3 men get so excited run down hill after me,while they are doing this i pick my clothes up get dressed and run to the top of the hill and so become once again

thats cheating phill but i will be back when i have found a way out again YOU SHOULD PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON ITS COLD

thank goodness you haven't figured out how to post pictures yet Phil

while everyone is getting over that though Keelan has been busy building his army of giant praying mantids, first up goes the mantids and following up behind KEELAN, Phil becomes so scared pee's himself, having NO change of undies Phil has to walk all the way home, leaving Keelan King

so with the mantis keeping gaurd phill strikes a plan he goes down the pub sinks 10 pints and with a wobble on walks towards the hill, the poor mantis who start to wobble (like they do) and all fall over cos phill has a better self controlled wobble them, keelan rushes to put them on thier feet again and while this happens phill stroles up the hill and becomes once again

not for long cause i am here today so watch out lololol

Andoy, was bored from drinking and partying with the Spartans (they were too shallow for him). Now wearing suitable (and very fashionable) outdoor hiking attire, decided to take up residence on the hill again as

So he hatches a plan to ask Gok Wan to persuade Phil that he might look good naked and slip some fire ants in his pants

Phil runs down the hill like a squeaking like a girl all the way to to a nearby pond and Andoy is and decides to create a Grand design mansion with all the mod cons.

...oops Andoy is a bit Dixie-lex-hic

the old witch of the south east has found herself 10 really good looking gals (YOUNG) and fitted them out with G strings and small fig leaves on their boobs and a siqn on their backs saying come and get me lololol she told them to spread themselves out all over the mountain to get the attention of any HOT BLOODED male ANDOY that is living on the mountain thinking he is king.
the old witch knows that if he is all man like he thinks he is he wont be able to stop himself fancying her gals lololol thats how her plan works while he is fulfilling his manly desires the old witch walks up the hill and takes over the kingship with no problem ha ha ha
the gals wears him out and he is completly useless and has no fight left in him and falls asleep under a big tree in the sun shine with a big smile on his face. and the old witch is again

what the old witch hadn't figured out was that Andoy is GAY and he was playing along with her game. He persuaded the 10 gals to be his fag-hags by offering them copies of the book "sex tip for straight women from a gay man"

Andoy's fag-hags give the witch food poisoning by under-cooking the wing-of-bat with eye-of newt stew. So the poor witch has to vacate quickly leaving Andoy again

Suz really likes the look of Andoys newly built Mansion, but thinks the decor leaves a lot to be desired so as a favour she invites the 'Changing Rooms' team to give it a make over. Unfortunately for Andoy, Linda & Lawrence were having off days and wood-chipped the entire mansion and painted every room in purple & orange stripes and gold leafed all the shabby chic furniture - Andoy is devastated by lack of good taste, and has a mini break down - Suz being a nice person pays for him to be carted of to the funny farm for a 2 week break.

Suz calls her friends Colin & Justin and invites them over to do there thing and make the mansion beautiful again. She moves in and becomes

Andoy is eventually released from the insane asylum. During his stay he has managed to hatch hundreds of little ducks. He slips his army of ducks thru the cat flap in the back door at the middle of the night. The ducks create havoc to the new interior and stink the place out. Suz wakes up to the mess and leaves in disgust
Andoy rules

Claire and Jonny (her boyfriend) hire a bulldozer for the day, they tear down the house and with it comes down Andoy. Claire shoos her boyfriend away and sits on the hilltop again Claire's hill:king: